Lately I’ve been stretched very very thin. Ryan has been working the midnight shift which means he sleeps all day and it’s wreaked hell on him and me. I didn’t realize how not having access to the bedroom, where Liam naps, would present such a problem. He’s started to sleep more lightly and dogs barking or me talking on the phone to customers disturbs him. You can imagine how frustrating my days are. Couple that with the fact I barely see my husband, we’re both pretty pathetic right now.
Yesterday I pulled the futon down which served as our day bed and it actually worked really well. On the recommendation of a friend, I turned on the white noise app on my phone and the exhaust fan in the kitchen and Liam seemed to nap more soundly. I also put a sign on the doorbell, asking people to not ring or knock (which happened twice yesterday). I’m hopeful the combination of these things will help my days go more smoothly.
Recently, I’ve also noticed my lack of engagement with my family. I’m so stressed out, when I have a second to sit, I’m on Facebook or Twitter or Instagram, wasting time. Now I’m all for outlets and connections- I met some of my favorite people through Twitter, but when it causes me to miss out on the few precious hours I have with my husband or miss a smile or laugh from my son… it’s not ok. Facebook is such a fake front for many people, using it to exaggerate the good or bad in their lives, it’s impossible to know what’s “real”. I do like connecting with old friends I wouldn’t otherwise catch up with and using it as a network for military wife events but I’m growing more and more detached from it as I delve deeper into my role as a full-time, working at home Mom.
My challenge to myself is simple: Put the phone down and engage when people are around (and awake!). If Liam is up, my phone is down. I do use it to take pictures but I want to be more intentional about truly giving my son and husband the attention they deserve.
I think this stepping away, giving myself a time-out of sorts will also relieve some stress. It sounds so silly but sometimes I feel anxious if I haven’t been online in a few hours and I have a lot of catching up to do on my timeline and feed. Seriously? That’s just nuts.
So that’s all I’ve got. Sorry if I miss something important in your life, but if it’s big enough, you’ll find a way to get a hold of me, I’m confident of that.