This past week has been emotionally packed for us. I shared with you last week about how I ended up in the hospital for contractions. Well last Wednesday I was back. Contractions were 2-3 minutes and showing up on the monitor. I wasn’t dilated at all (and still am not) so they ruled out early labor and put me on bed rest for five days. It was during this time I had some soul-searching conversations with myself and my amazing Twitter friends. About how I truly want to birth and how my body is acting late in pregnancy. And I came to some conclusions.
- I want to give birth at home. No shock there but after two hospital visits, I definitely want the option be up and about, walking and stretching in my own home rather than a hospital room. There’s just no comparison, even in the nicest of birthing suites. I want to give birth to our son in our home. Period.
- I want to ensure my body is being taken care of during these last few weeks of pregnancy so that #1 is possible. I’m still not sure what this means but it could mean leaving work earlier than planned. I contract all day every day at work. On the days I was resting at home, it was once or twice an hour. HUGE difference. Having constant contractions is exhausting, there’s just no way around it. My body is working hard for absolutely no reason and it’s much worse when I have to get up and walk around. Just to get to the bathroom is a chore sometimes.
- I am going to start seeing an OB for concurrent medical care just in case Liam decides to make his appearance earlier than 37 weeks. Ryan is worried about my contractions and subsequent hospital visits and would feel better if I started seeing a doctor. I would feel better knowing if we must birth in a hospital, it’s with a doctor who knows me and my wishes. One I have a relationship with, not just the doctor on call that evening. (Debbie will be my doula if a hospital birth is necessary for whatever reason- early labor or emergency transfer so I am grateful for that.)
- I want Liam’s health to be #1. If that means giving birth in a hospital because we’re 36 weeks and 5 days, THIS is what is most important to me, to us.
- We’ll go tour Highland Park Hospital and see their accommodations. The one closest to us is Lake Forest but they have a very strict fetal monitoring and IV policy which I just do not feel comfortable with. Pre-term labor is concerning but it’s not an emergency. I believe whole-heartedly Aden’s birth could’ve been significantly reduced if I’d been allowed to walk around rather than lie in bed for 22 hours.
- I am doing awesome. My body is being shared by another human. These days I’m more often tired than not, I’m bulky and awkward, nothing fits. I get discouraged at my lack of endurance but then I remind myself- I am sharing my body. There is a little human who is literally sucking the life out of me sometimes. It’s ok to be tired and cranky and need to rest. I am gaining the right amount of weight. I am doing all the right things. I am eating what I should. I am doing what I can do with what I have and I am very proud of how this pregnancy has gone so far.
- I am almost certain that birth will probably not go exactly how I envision but there’s nothing wrong with dreaming. And there’s nothing wrong with being prepared.
So that’s about where I am now. OB appointment is tomorrow and I’m definitely excited to meet her and see how our ideals line up. And then we’re going home. For 10 glorious days. I’ll be resting and relaxing every day and I can’t wait to see my family!