What To Do When Your Dog Eats Chocolate

Ok, so here is my adorable dog

He is three years old and acts like a three month old. He’s constantly getting into the trash, nosing around under the table, eating shit he shouldn’t eat and attempting to pee everywhere. So the day before we moved, I was cleaning up my office and throwing away food. One of the things I threw away was a double chocolate chip cookie. I tied said cookie in a plastic trash bag and hung on the doorknob while I went downstairs to change the laundry. When I came back upstairs, Charlie was nosing around in the trash bag he had pulled down from the doorknob and the plastic cookie container was empty. His weight is 24lbs. He ate a cookie about the size of my palm. I didn’t know the exact chocolate content of the cookie but I wasn’t about to find out the hard way how much can kill a 24lb dog.

Someone please tell me, why must things happen to dogs (and most likely kids) in the wee hours of the night? It was 11pm and no vet was open except for a late night clinic I’d never heard of. I called them, consulted with the vet tech who told me to give our dog hydrogen peroxide. (I’ve been trying for over a year to get Ipecac syrup because I know how self-destructive our dogs are but apparently no pharmacies carry the stuff anymore.)

Start with 2 tsp. If he doesn’t puke, do 2 more in 30 minutes. Something should happen at that point.

Good for us, I had a little dropper from when I had my tonsils taken out and couldn’t swallow pain pills.

I administered 2 tsp of peroxide with mild difficulty and prepared for the worst. (On advice from the emergency vet, we were to administer 2 tsp per 20 lbs of dog every 30 minutes until they throw up.) At this point, I probably should’ve just locked myself in the bathroom with Charlie but I didn’t know what was about to hit. Let this be a lesson to you.

Get into a tiled room with a closing door. Have towels on hand and a spray bottle of vinegar or whatever you use to clean up messes.

Here’s what I did:

We went outside.

Charlie puked.

He puked again.

He tried to eat the puke.

So did Jeffrey.

I hosed down the grass and tried to get all the chocolate bits washed away. It was pitch black out so I don’t know how successful I was.

I thought he was done and we went back inside.

He was not done.

He puked on the carpet.

And again.

And again.

At this point, the chocolate was gone and he was just throwing up foam. Poor guy had no idea what hit him.

I cleaned up the vomit and vowed to never, ever feed my dog chocolate again.

But just look at this face! How could you not give him anything he wants?

Time to prepare for the Rapture!

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